Core Personal Boundaries

Many of us in healing and recovery don’t clearly understand proper, core personal boundaries.

I sure didn’t until I learned about emotional sobriety. I went from being a doormat to being a control freak. Thanks to emotional sobriety, I now understand to stay in my own lane and that it’s okay to let things go.

Being able to set boundaries with those around us can help us on our journey to healing and recovery.

Here are a few examples:

Emotional Boundaries

· To express your feelings (positive or negative).

· To be angry at someone you love.

· To disagree with someone you love.

· To feel scared and say, “I’m afraid.”

· To feel pride and say, “I’m proud!”

· To say, “I don’t know.”

These honor your right to have and share emotions without guilt or shame.

Mental / Cognitive Boundaries

· To change your mind.

· To make mistakes and not be perfect.

· To follow your own values and standards.

· To make decisions based on your feelings.

· To not give excuses or reasons for your behavior (KISS).

· To be accountable, even when uncomfortable.

· To change and grow.

These protect your independence in thinking, learning, and evolving.

Physical / Practical Boundaries

· To refuse requests or demands you can’t meet.

· To say no when you’re not ready, it’s unsafe, or it violates your values.

· To your own needs for personal space and time.

· To be in a non-abusive environment.

These honor your safety, autonomy, and right to protect your energy.

Relational / Social Boundaries

· To ask for what you want respectfully.

· To not be responsible for others’ behavior, feelings, or problems.

· To expect honesty from others.

· To have your needs and wants respected.

· To be surrounded by healthy people.

· To be treated with dignity and respect.

· To make friends and feel comfortable around people.

These define what’s healthy in connection with others and what you will or won’t accept.

Identity / Self-Expression Boundaries

· To be uniquely yourself and embrace it.

· To be playful and express joy.

· To be healthier than those around you.

· To be happy.

These affirm your right to live authentically and pursue well-being.

Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonates with you, I’d really love to know. You can comment below or email me. You’re also invited to join other Bookenders on Reddit.

And if you’re looking for deeper exercises, I wrote Bookends of Recovery & Healing Workbook to help you heal from betrayal trauma and addiction by using creative exercises, action tools, and guided reflection.

Warmly,
Laura 🌻