How to Stop Overthinking and Spiraling Thoughts for Recovery, Healing, and Daily Life

Have you ever had a moment when something small happens and your mind takes off running? Like full speed, all out, sprint. And it can be anything that sets it off:

A comment.

A tone.

A look.

A memory.

And that’s it, our mind is off to the races. Whether we want to or not:

• We start filling in the blanks.

• We assume the worst.

• We replay things.

• We react.

And suddenly, we’re dealing with a trigger, emotions, and everything our mind decided to add to it.

I used to think those thoughts were the absolute truth. I mean they were coming from my mind after all. Now I understand something different.

Not every thought is a fact. And not every emotion and reaction needs to be followed.

That’s where these cool tools come in.

They’re easy to use and can be used whenever you need them. Just practice them when you’re feeling calm, then tuck them in your recovery toolkit and pull them out when you need them. Especially in those moments when you need to pause for a moment or five and make a different choice.

Cognitive Distortions: When Your Mind Fills in the Blanks

This is the perfect place to begin because it’s usually where the brain spiral begins.

Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that feel real but aren’t always accurate.

And we all do this.

Some common ones:

Mind reading:

“They must be upset with me”

Catastrophizing:

“This is going to end terribly”

All-or-nothing thinking:

“If it’s not perfect, I did it wrong”

Overgeneralizing:

“This always happens to me”

Here’s where things get kinda tricky. These thoughts don’t feel like distortions. They feel like facts. So, we react to them as if they’re true.

But when you start recognizing these patterns, it’s an opportunity to make a change toward healthier thinking. Instead of getting pulled into the spiral, you can pause and ask:

Is this actually happening or is this my interpretation of it?

That question alone can create just enough of a pause to create space and allow you to breathe.

The ABC Model: What’s Really Driving Your Reaction?

Once you start noticing your thoughts, the next step is understanding how they’re shaping your reactions.

The ABC Model breaks it down simply:

A: Activating Event:
What actually happened

B: Belief:
What you tell yourself about it

C: Consequence:
How you feel and respond

Most of us think A leads directly to C.

It doesn’t.

B is the middle piece that changes everything.

Let’s say someone doesn’t respond to your message. (I may or may not be using a personal example. Okay fine, I’m using a personal example).

Belief: “They’re ignoring me” → You feel hurt, maybe pull back (I pulled back before emotional sobriety).

Belief: “They’re probably busy” → You feel neutral, maybe follow up later (I’m doing much better about following up these days).

Same situation. Completely different experience.

So, when you feel triggered, try this:

What’s the story I’m telling myself right now?

Because that story is often what’s driving the emotion, not just the event itself.

Stick to the Facts: Ground Yourself in What’s Real

When your thoughts start going zero to a hundred, one of the simplest and most effective tools is to simply stick to the facts.

Not the assumptions.

Not the fears.

Not the “what ifs.”

Just the facts.

For example:

Instead of:

“They’re mad at me. I can tell. Something’s wrong.”

Stick to:

“They haven’t responded yet.”

That’s it.

It might feel almost too simple, but that’s the point.

When we stay with the facts, we stay grounded. When we jump into assumptions, we create stress that may not even be necessary.

I don’t mean ignoring your feelings. I mean giving your mind a safe, fact-based place to land while your emotions settle.

Opposite Action: Interrupt the Pattern

Now let’s talk about what to do in the moment. Because even when we know we’re spiraling, that doesn’t mean we feel like stopping. Or we may feel like we want to stop, but we don’t quite know how. I remember that feeling quite well.

That’s where Opposite Action comes in.

It’s the practice of doing the opposite of what your emotions are pushing you to do:

• Want to isolate? Reach out

• Want to react immediately? Pause

• Want to avoid? Take one small step forward

It doesn’t have to be some big, huge act. In fact, smaller is better. You’re not trying to overhaul everything in one moment. You’re simply interrupting the pattern.

That small interruption can be enough to stop the spiral from taking over.

Positive Reframing: Shift the Way You See It

After things settle, this is where you can come back and shift your perspective. Positive reframing isn’t about pretending everything is puppies and rainbows.

It’s about choosing a more balanced way to look at what happened.

Instead of:

“I handled that terribly”

Try:

“I handled that better than I would have before”

Instead of:

“This always happens to me”

Try:

“This happened, and I’m learning how to respond differently”

It’s a subtle shift, but it’s an important one. How you talk to yourself shapes how you feel about yourself. It also trains your brain to keep choosing those positive pathways.

Over time, those shifts build confidence, awareness, and emotional stability.

Putting It All Together

Here’s what this can look like in real life:

Something happens and your mind starts racing. You notice a distortion (maybe mind reading or catastrophizing).

You pause and look at the story you’re telling yourself (ABC Model).

You bring yourself back to the facts.

You choose a small opposite action instead of reacting.

Later, you reframe the experience with a little more compassion.

That’s awareness in action.

Final Thought

Remember, you’re not going to catch every spiral and it takes time to learn how to use the tools.

And that’s okay.

You’re learning to slow things down just enough to give yourself a choice.

Because when you have a choice…You have power.

Question for you:

When you notice yourself spiraling, what shows up first…the thought, the feeling, or the reaction?

Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonates with you, I’d really love to know. You can comment below or email me. You’re also invited to join other Bookenders on Reddit.

And if you’re looking for deeper exercises, I wrote Bookends of Recovery & Healing Workbook to help you heal from betrayal trauma and addiction by using creative exercises, action tools, and guided reflection.

Warmly,
Laura 🌻