I Quit Using, Now What?

Deciding that you're going to quit using your DOC, drug of choice, is a major life choice. It can feel overwhelming and scary, but it's also one full of hope and promise. Whether you're quitting drugs, alcohol, pornography, shopping, gambling, or another unhealthy behavior, knowing the first steps to take can help lay a solid foundation for your recovery.

In this post, I’ll guide you through essential first steps, tools for your recovery toolkit, and tips for navigating relationships and setbacks.

Celebrating Your Decision to Quit

First, take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your win. As cheesy as it sounds, marking this date in your calendar can help inspire and remind you of how important this day is to you.

No calendar? No worries. You can create a journal entry or buy a cheap one from a big box store. You can even get creative and add stickers, like stars. I love looking at colorful calendars with inspirational sayings in my office. This reminds me that I need to order one for next year.

If you're concerned about marking a calendar and having a setback, that's okay; setbacks sometimes happen. Mark your calendar again with a new start date, knowing you still have all the knowledge you gained. No one can take away your stars or time.

Why? Because you, my friend, are a Superstar!

Exploring Recovery Approaches

Your journey is as unique as you are. Lord knows mine was all over the place through the years. What's important is that you do it safely.

There are many recovery approaches out there, including:

• Harm Reduction

• California Sober

• Medications for opioid use disorder (MOUD) and Medications for Alcohol Use Disorder (MAUD)

• Residential/Inpatient Treatment

• Outpatient/Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP)

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

• Trauma-Informed Care

• 12-Step Programs

• Secular Recovery Programs

• Faith-Based Recovery

There isn't one approach that works for everyone, and what works for you may change over time. You can learn more about these options in my Approaches to Recovery post.

Day One

Some things to be aware of as you begin your journey:

• If you're experiencing overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, have thoughts of suicide, or other thoughts of self-harm, seek professional help immediately. It's an act of bravery to reach out. The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is 988. You can also text "HOME" to 741741.

• If you're experiencing withdrawal, seek medical guidance. Acute withdrawal from one substance can be very different from another, and withdrawal from some substances, including alcohol and benzodiazepines, can be dangerous and may require medical supervision. You can contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. It's confidential and free.

• Be aware of PAWS (Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). Some people experience ongoing psychological, emotional, or physical symptoms after acute withdrawal. Symptoms and how long they last can vary, so seek medical or professional support if you need it.

Beginning Recovery Tools

Let's start out by getting some tools in your recovery toolkit. This can help you handle overwhelming urges and anxiety you may encounter:

• Urge Surfing

• Grounding techniques
  (When I was dealing with overwhelming anxiety, my go-to, in the beginning, was counting and the 5.4.3.2.1 exercise, very effective!)

• Breathing
  (I still use deep breathing. LOVE!)

Building Your Sobriety Circle

Next, we'll work on getting your Sobriety Circle together. This can be anyone, such as a counselor, coach, sponsor, or trusted friend. You can also do this by attending a support group or 12-step meeting.

The important thing is that you connect with healthy people who will support you on your journey. Remember one of my many favorite sayings: "The opposite of addiction is connection."

If you're in a relationship with someone, it's important to remember that your partner shouldn't be your accountability partner and vice versa. I believe there are three separate recovery and healing journeys: yours, theirs, and the relationship.

Eliminating Your Stash

If you're choosing to quit your DOC completely and it's a tangible substance, getting it out of your environment can help remove an immediate temptation. That includes the backup stash and the "Oh, I totally forgot I put that there" stash.

If you're quitting something that's not tangible, like gambling, pornography, or shopping, think about what access points tend to trigger urges or make the behavior easier. Depending on your situation, that might mean deleting an app, changing how you use a device, limiting access, or creating another barrier that gives you time to pause when an urge hits.

The goal isn't to create one universal rule. It's to figure out what supports your recovery and helps you create some space between the urge and the behavior.

Surround Yourself with Healthy People

You know that breathing I mentioned earlier? Now would be a great time to practice some deep belly breaths because you may need to make some difficult decisions about the people you surround yourself with.

So, put your thinking caps on and figure out who is healthy for your recovery and who isn't.

If someone supplies your DOC or your relationship with them revolves around using, you may need to limit or end contact with them to protect your recovery. That may include removing phone numbers, email addresses, social media connections, or other ways of contacting them.

Next is a bit more challenging to reflect on because it's people who enable you. This may mean people close to you, like your friends, family, or even your partner.

I went through this, too, so I understand what you’re going through. My ex-husband and I faced this after the disclosure of his addiction. At the time, we both committed to our individual recovery and healing and worked our asses off. It wasn’t easy, and I learned a lot about the importance of each person being responsible for their own recovery.

If someone isn't supporting you, or they contribute to your addiction or enable you, even if they're a family member or a good friend, you may decide you need some space until you're in a healthier place in your recovery.

You're creating boundaries for yourself, which is good even though it can feel challenging. Over time, healthy boundaries can help you build relationships that support your recovery rather than work against it.

Rewiring Your Brain for Success

Okay, let's fast-forward a little bit. You've decided what recovery approach you're going to try, you're adding recovery tools to your toolkit, you're surrounding yourself with healthy people, and you've made it through those early days.

You still feel lost and confused, and you're beginning to wonder why the F you decided to quit using in the first place.

This can happen. Your brain is adjusting to a new way of thinking and responding.

Remember, our brains are malleable. I love that word.

Malleable.

Our brains have the ability to change and adapt through neuroplasticity. We can learn new patterns, practice different responses, and strengthen new pathways over time.

I think I love this so much because I was repeatedly told, "Once an addict, always an addict."

Yes, we still need to be aware of our addiction and recovery, but that doesn't mean we're incapable of change.

We're Superstars over addiction!

I called that whisper of thought my addict voice. She was the worst. She told me the vilest things about myself and had me doubting myself. That’s because I wasn’t emotionally sober yet.

So, if you're wondering why you quit, challenge that voice in your head. Ask yourself where the thought is coming from.

Play the Script Until the End. Where could acting on this urge take you? What could happen next? And then what? Give yourself the opportunity to look beyond what you want in that one moment and think about what you really want for yourself.

Managing Setbacks with Compassion

If you do have a setback, remember to learn from it.

Fall forward.

Don't wallow in shame. Instead, reflect on what happened. Was there a trigger? An emotion? A situation you weren't prepared for? Is there something you can add to your recovery toolkit or do differently next time?

You don't lose everything you've learned because you had a setback.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward.

You got this.

Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonates with you, I’d really love to know. You can comment below or email me. You’re also invited to join other Bookenders on Reddit.

And if you’re looking for deeper exercises, I wrote Bookends of Recovery & Healing Workbook to help you heal from betrayal trauma and addiction by using creative exercises, action tools, and guided reflection.

Warmly,
Laura 🌻