Managing Triggers

So, um, how are you with managing triggers? I ask because I sucked monkey butt. Which isn’t great when we’re starting out, is it? Because learning to identify and manage our triggers plays a huge role in our healing and our recovery.

It can also feel the most challenging and overwhelming.

So, remember to give yourself grace while you’re learning about:

• What they are
• How to avoid them
• How to manage them
One of the things I learned was to tune into my body. I used these acronyms (lovingly nicknamed BLASHTed by one of my group members): HALT and BLAST:
H = Hungry
A = Angry
L = Lonely
T = Tired

B = Bored

L = Lonely

A = Angry
S = Stressed
T = Tired
When we’re feeling any of these things, we can be more susceptible to our triggers.

When we tune into our body, we can also be aware of things like:
· Rapid/Shallow breathing
· Racing thoughts
· Rapid heartbeat
· Sweating
· Trembling
· Jaw clenching
· Feelings of wanting to isolate/withdraw
· Thoughts of justifications
· Thoughts of rationalizations
· Negative self-talk

Those can be our body and mind’s way of saying, “Hey, something’s off. We need to pause, step back, and evaluate.”

If it’s possible, we can try to avoid the things that trigger us until we’ve learned how to manage them healthily.
These can include:
• People, places, and things that aren’t healthy for you.
• Places that remind you of the trauma or hurt
• Apps/websites used for unhealthy behavior
• People, places, and things that promote unhealthy behaviors (I put that in from personal experience)

Risky Behaviors:
· Going back to old “haunts”
· No fun recovery activities
· Pain mining
· Watching movies/shows that may trigger you

· No healthy support system
· Unhealthy relationship(s)

Sometimes you can’t get away from people, places, or things. This is when it’s important to learn how to manage triggers.

Manage:
• Acceptance: Rather than trying to control things in our lives, we learn how to accept them and let go of trying to control everyone and every situation.

Remember what Eckhart Tolle said:
“If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options:
remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now.”
Here are some examples:
•People: We can’t control their mood, their life, etc., but we can love and accept them for who they are while not taking on their emotions. Sometimes loving someone from a distance is okay until you’re in a better emotional place.
•Locations: We can’t always control our environment, but we can accept it and prepare for it rather than stress about what may or may not happen. Just like our recovery toolkit and go-bag, it’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
•Things: We can’t stop our car from breaking down or a bill from being due, but we can accept that it may happen and prepare. We can keep the car maintained, put money aside each month for bills, etc.
• We can be mindful that we are doing things to the best of our ability. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and trusting others. Sometimes that means standing back and letting someone else take the wheel. We don’t always have to be the driver of the car of life.
Tips for Managing Triggers in Real Time
• Reframe your brain: It can help to shift your thinking from “I can’t do this anymore” to “I have a great life because I’m not doing that anymore.”
• Practice Box Breathing
• Write and then write some more, or, draw and draw some more etc.
• Face the trigger! Talk to it. Lessen its power.
• Create a positive playlist, reading list, and podcast list
• Self-care: eat, sleep, exercise
• Talk to someone: trusted source, ally, coach, counselor, sponsor etc.
Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonates with you, I’d really love to know. You can comment below or email me. You’re also invited to join other Bookenders on Reddit.

And if you’re looking for deeper exercises, I wrote Bookends of Recovery & Healing Workbook to help you heal from betrayal trauma and addiction by using creative exercises, action tools, and guided reflection.

Warmly,
Laura 🌻

If you need help working through your triggers, limited coaching hours are available.