Play the Script Until the End & The Stop Sign Technique Working Through Fear & Anxiety

After disclosure, I had a new relationship with anxiety and fear. We'd become new best friends. They loved hanging out in my brain and whispering all sorts of negative things to me. Just planting seeds of doubt along the way. When I learned how to Play the Script Until the End and use the Stop Sign Technique, I felt like I had some new shiny tools to help me deal with the triggers, fears, and anxiety.

To make this less triggering to read, I'll share a common, everyday example, but this tool can be used to help you move through what's causing you fear and anxiety.

The Scenario: Asking for a Raise

You’re driving to work, telling yourself, “Today’s the day. I’m going to ask my boss for a raise.” You pump yourself up on the drive to work, feeling ready.

Then, as you pull into the parking lot, doubt creeps in.

“What if my boss says no? What if he’s in a bad mood? What if…? Maybe today isn’t the best day after all. I’ll just wait for another day.”

And just like that, the moment passes. Day after day, you put it off, convincing yourself that your boss is just going to say no anyway.

Sound familiar?

Whether it’s this scenario or another, it’s so easy to let our minds become consumed by “what ifs” and self-defeating thoughts. But what if you could work through some of that fear instead?

Playing the Script Until the End

This exercise can help you navigate anxiety by drilling down and looking at what’s underneath your concerns. Instead of letting your brain race from one “what if” to another, you follow the thought all the way through and look at the possible outcome more rationally.

Sometimes, our anxiety takes a situation and runs with it. Getting a “no” probably won’t end your world. It may even help you decide what you want to do next.

Here’s how it works:

Identify the Challenge:
What’s causing you anxiety? Is it asking for a raise, starting a business, quitting a job, or getting sober? Maybe it’s leaving a relationship, healing from trauma, or something else entirely.

Define the Fear:
What are you most anxious about? Rejection, judgment, loneliness, uncertainty, or something even deeper?

Visualize the Worst-Case Scenario:
This part may feel uncomfortable. Take a few calming breaths and allow yourself to think through the outcome you’re afraid of while staying grounded in what you actually know.

Let’s go back to the raise example. You walk into your boss’s office, ask for a raise, and they say no.

Then what?

Will they fire you? Will they laugh at you? Will you lose your job? Or will they simply say no?

Keep following the script while staying grounded in reality. What would actually happen next? Is the outcome catastrophic? Would your life drastically change?

Most likely, the outcome your anxiety created is much bigger than what would actually happen.

If imagining the worst-case scenario increases your anxiety rather than helping you work through it, this may not be the right exercise for you right now. You can stop, ground yourself, and come back to it another time or try a different tool.

Ask Yourself: “Is It Really That Bad?”

Now that you’ve followed the scenario through, take another look at it.

If your boss says no, what would actually change? You’d still have your job, your skills, your friends, your family, and the ability to decide what you want to do next.

You might also ask yourself:

• What would still be true if this happened?

• What would I still have in my life?

• Who could I turn to for support?

• What choices would I have afterward?

• Would this matter as much a month or a year from now?

Reframe the Situation:
After you’ve looked at the outcome you’re afraid of, ask yourself my favorite question: “What is the good?”

If your boss says no to the raise, maybe you ask what you could do to improve your chances in the future. Maybe you start looking at other opportunities. Or maybe the good is simply that you finally asked and now you know the answer.

Looking at what you could do next can help take some of the fear out of the situation.

Take Action:
After playing the script all the way through, think about what you want to do next. Maybe it’s asking for the raise, starting the project, having a difficult conversation, or moving forward with a personal decision.

You don’t have to tackle everything at once.

What’s one small step you can take today?

Playing the Script Until the End can help you look at your fears from a different perspective and separate what might actually happen from what anxiety is telling you could happen.

The Stop Sign Technique

Have you ever had automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) marching around in your head, filling your mind with self-doubt?

Maybe they’re saying things like, “I’m not worthy,” “I can’t do that,” or “Something bad is going to happen.”

The Stop Sign Technique gives you a visual cue to interrupt those thoughts long enough to notice what’s happening.

Visualize a Stop Sign:
Picture a bright red stop sign in your mind. You know exactly what one looks like. Maybe yours is a little rusty, or maybe it’s brand new and pristine.

Make the Image Bigger:
Bring the stop sign closer in your mind. Now, in your loudest internal voice, say, “STOP!”

Refocus:
Push the stop sign farther away, then bring it back again. As you do, remind yourself, “STOP. This thought isn’t helping me right now.”

Take a Look at the Thought:
Instead of automatically believing the thought or trying to replace it with something unrealistically positive, pause and look at what you're telling yourself.

Is it true?

Is it based on something you know, or something you fear?

Is there another way to look at it?

Then you can ask yourself my favorite question: “What is the good?”

The good doesn’t have to be something enormous. Maybe you’re working on your recovery or healing. Maybe you recognized a trigger before reacting to it. Maybe you reached out for help. Or maybe you simply noticed what your brain was doing instead of letting the thought carry you away.

Moving Toward a More Accurate Thought

Reframing isn’t about pretending everything is wonderful or forcing yourself to think positively. Sometimes the healthiest thought isn’t positive at all. It’s simply more accurate.

Instead of:

“I can’t handle this.”

Maybe it becomes:

“This is really hard, but I can ask for help.”

Instead of:

“I’m never going to heal.”

Maybe it becomes:

“I’m struggling today, but that doesn’t mean I’ll always feel this way.”

Affirmations can also be helpful, as long as they feel true to you. Here are a few you can use as they are or change to make them your own:

• I am worthy of love and respect.

• I am learning to trust myself.

• I am capable of asking for help.

• I can take this one step at a time.

• I am grateful for the progress I’ve made.

• I am allowed to have difficult days.

• I am learning and growing.

• I am proud of the work I’m doing.

• I am healing.

• I can choose what I do next.

Celebrate yourself for the small wins and the progress you make along the way. No matter how big or small, your journey is worth honoring.

What’s Next? Put It Into Practice

The next time you notice the “what ifs” taking over, try playing the script until the end or visualizing the stop sign. Notice what you’re telling yourself, question whether it’s accurate, and look for a healthier, more accurate way to move through it.

And don’t forget to ask for help when you need it. Recovery and healing aren’t about having every answer or handling everything on your own.

Sometimes one small step is enough for today.

Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonates with you, I’d really love to know. You can comment below or email me. You’re also invited to join other Bookenders on Reddit.

And if you’re looking for deeper exercises, I wrote Bookends of Recovery & Healing Workbook to help you heal from betrayal trauma and addiction by using creative exercises, action tools, and guided reflection.

Warmly,
Laura 🌻