The Power of Choice

Did you know that when you woke up this morning, you woke up with a gift? That gift is the power of choice. It's not only a gift, but also a right you get to enjoy each day. And the better you understand it, the more transformative your life can be. No matter your situation or the challenges you're facing, you always have a choice. Your choice may be between two things or many things, but that power of choice lies in your hands. That power of choice gives you an opportunity to move toward a path in your life that creates positive, amazing change.

We make choices throughout our day. Some, of course, are more impactful than others. Everything from whether we're going to hit the snooze button that morning to whether we're going to work on our recovery. It's truly exciting how many things in our life we have the power to choose.

• We choose to be optimistic.

• We choose to be pessimistic.

• We choose to hang on to anger and bitterness.

• We choose to let it go (or to do our best to let go).

• We choose to work on ourselves.

• We choose to remain stagnant.

• We choose to isolate.

• We choose to reach out.

• We choose to love.

• We choose to hate.

• We choose to heal.

• We choose to numb.
  

Having the power to choose gives us the opportunity to decide which path our journey will take. It puts us in the driver's seat of our destiny. If you're like me, you may have made some choices in the past, or even in the present, that were not so great. I mean, that's why I started this space, right? To share my mistakes so you (hopefully) can avoid them.

Now, we can look at those choices and see them as growth opportunities. This way, if you're presented with those choices again, you’ll have the knowledge and the power to choose differently. Remember, we're all works in progress, no matter where we are in our growth, recovery, or healing process.

The exciting thing about choice is the possibility that any kind of change is possible. We can always do better than we did yesterday or an hour ago. We approach things with a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset.

A fixed mindset is when someone believes things are unchangeable. That change isn't possible. That reminds me of the saying “once an addict, always an addict,” because it makes it seem like change isn't possible and things feel hopeless.

Of course, we know that in recovery, we have to always have awareness, but we also know that we choose sobriety. Every day, we choose to stay sober. Every day, we choose to heal and grow. We choose positive changes in our life. That openness to change is an example of a growth mindset. We can always do better than we did yesterday or an hour ago.

In healing from betrayal trauma, we choose what we want for ourselves. But in the beginning, how do we know what that is? We choose grace and patience for ourselves. We choose healthy boundaries for ourselves. And we choose to practice daily self-care and self-love as we learn, grow, evolve, and heal.

Managing challenging choices:

• Talk to someone.

• Ask for help (counseling, life coach, support group).

• Write a pros and cons list of your options.

• Journal.

• Word vomit.

• List each option, then evaluate them honestly.

• Look at each choice as if it were for a friend, not you. What would you tell them to do?

• Give yourself the gift of time; no rush decisions.

Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonates with you, I’d really love to know. You can comment below or email me. You’re also invited to join other Bookenders on Reddit.

And if you’re looking for deeper exercises, I wrote Bookends of Recovery & Healing Workbook to help you heal from betrayal trauma and addiction by using creative exercises, action tools, and guided reflection.

Warmly,
Laura 🌻