Using Spoon Theory in Healing & Recovery

As many of you know, I get migraines. Like, all the time. I used to push myself to get through the pain, until I realized I was causing myself more harm than good. So, I invested in my health and did whatever it took to find more days enjoying life versus writhing in pain in bed.

During that time, I became a moderator of a migraine forum, and that’s where I heard about the
Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino. What a rockstar!

Christine has lupus, and she was out to lunch, trying to describe what it was like to have a chronic illness to her friend. Christine grabbed a handful of spoons and handed them to her friend. Christine explained that each spoon represented a unit of energy. Then Christine asked her friend to describe the activities of a typical day. Christine removed a spoon for each activity, and her friend quickly ran out of spoons.

Christine explained that she had a limited number of spoons (energy) to use each day, while her friend’s spoons (energy) were seemingly infinite. So, Christine had to plan her day accordingly. Sometimes she rationed her spoons carefully to make sure she could make it to lunch, a date, a doctor’s appointment, or simply take a shower on a high-pain day.

For me, there’s rarely a day without some kind of pain, whether it’s from my migraines or from my shoulder injury. Christine’s Spoon Theory is an excellent way to describe an invisible illness because I have to be aware of how many spoons it’ll take to do a particular task.

We can apply the Spoon Theory to healing, addiction, and mental health. We may have limited resources or tools in our recovery and healing toolbox. We could be new in our healing or recovery, coming off an emotional setback, a trigger, or relapse, struggling with brain fog, or going through withdrawal.

Ways to Prepare for the Day:
Do a mental inventory to determine if you’re feeling anxiety, stress, or triggers before your day begins
Be aware of the day ahead and what triggers will arise, then create a game plan to either face them or find a way to avoid them if possible

Be mindful of BLAST/HALT to reserve spoons so you’re not so susceptible to your triggers
Do activities that promote balance to avoid zapping energy
Check-in conversation with loved ones and others you’ll interact with today
Ideas to Reserve Our Spoons:
Spend time with people who fill you up
Recognize you can’t pour from an empty cup
Laugh: watch a funny movie, puppy & cat videos, etc.
Visualize your happy place or favorite memory
Create/work on a vision board
Utilize your recovery and healing toolkit
Honor your emotions
Gratitude lists
Affirmation cards
Prioritize your day: set bite-sized goals without guilt
Create healthy boundaries
Practice reframing: ask yourself, “What is the good?” instead of saying “What good is it?”

Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonates with you, I’d really love to know. You can comment below or email me. You’re also invited to join other Bookenders on Reddit.

And if you’re looking for deeper exercises, I wrote Bookends of Recovery & Healing Workbook to help you heal from betrayal trauma and addiction by using creative exercises, action tools, and guided reflection.

Warmly,
Laura 🌻